Planet Tara

Tara/ February 20, 2020/ OLDER STUFF

What planet am I on, you ask? That would be Planet Tara. It’s an awesome place where compassion, inclusion and empathy rule; a place where diversity is embraced and people aren’t judged by their quirks or for being a little weird. It’s a place where only the most interesting people are the leaders and the teachers, usually the hippies. Yeah, there’s some sensitivity and a little drama at times, but I think that’s normal for a place where some shit has gone down in the last few years. This planet has experienced something similar to a nuclear explosion, so excuse me if things seem a little disheveled here on Planet Tara.

Ok fine, I’ll stop freaking you all out with my third-person, extraterrestrial analogies. Seriously though, I’ve actually been asked what planet I’m on and it got me thinking.* Am I so strange that someone would think I don’t belong on Earth? It’s true that I’ve been misunderstood for as long as I can remember, and clearly I continue to be misunderstood. It often feels like no one really “gets” me and it can be maddening at times. I do my best to act normal and to fit in – here on Earth. As a matter of fact, I’m on the extreme side of being self-conscious, so when I’m constantly misunderstood it can be incredibly frustrating. All the energy and thought I put into acting normal feels like a waste of time.

Out of This World

Having been married to someone who speaks a different language than I do (figuratively not literally) for 17 years only reinforced the idea that no one really gets me. I would find myself explaining things over and over again to my ex. I thought that if I said it just one more time, he would understand me. I’m sure that was real fun for him. Not only in my marriage was I misunderstood, but the same goes for a lot of my relationships. My empathy is misunderstood as sensitivity; my self-expression as attention-seeking; my inquisition as meddling; my passion as emotion; my busy schedule as apathy; my anxiety as irrationality; my desire for inclusion as immaturity. You get the point.

On my worst days I don’t feel like I belong in this world anyway, so being asked what planet I’m on kinda takes a toll on the self worth. Definitely a blow to the self esteem – especially when it was in response to me trying to express myself. Not only am I often misunderstood, but I don’t understand why people have to be assholes.

Here’s what I know for sure: no matter how hard I try to be conscientious, empathetic and transparent, there will be people who misunderstand me. And as kind as I try to be, there will be people who don’t like me. I can care deeply about a person, but that won’t make them reciprocate and I can repeat myself all day long, yet still not be heard or understood. And my swearing? Some people don’t understand why I do it.

Come One, Come Most

Yes, I like to swear. Swearing is allowed on Planet Tara. There are just a few words that will not be tolerated under any circumstance: the c-word, the r-word and the n-word. If those are some of your favorites, you’ll have to take it somewhere else. We don’t want it here. Also violence, none of that shit. The only bombs that will be allowed are metaphorical bombs and f-bombs. No guns. No shoving. I repeat, no shoving. All of that said, forgiveness is still important here on Planet Tara. I’ve slammed a few doors and thrown a few things in my days too. Just apologize. You’ll be forgiven.

Are you too looking for a place where you can swear as much as you want, a place where you will be understood and feel a sense of belonging? Would you like to join us on Planet Tara? We welcome you with all of your insecurities and anxieties. We welcome your sensitivity and your kindness. We will display your unusual art and your awesome self-portraits, play your unique music and read aloud your audacious blog. Please wear the clothes you love and display your gray hair with pride. All people with varying abilities will be celebrated on this inclusive planet. Bring your same-sex lover, and your transgender and queer friends. We love and welcome our friends of color too. All are welcome on Planet Tara – all of you except the assholes.

*This is what you call gaslighting.